How do you play shows some of your character, how do you win or lose shows all of it. – Anonymous

For last couple of months, I have been quite busy with community leadership related work.  I had an opportunity to mentor and advise leadership team on the issue that was dividing the community. I  also had to stand up against the group of people whom I found was neither acting fairly nor was impartial. Per my research, it was abuse of power and leadership role.

It is now over and resolved satisfactorily, but it was a learning experience for me and I would like to share my lessons that I have gathered from both sides, without referencing to any incident.  One side was new and young group of individuals who was selected to lead the community and other group had been in control for over 16 years was not giving up the power and resisting the change.

When I reflect on my decision to support the new and young group get their right, I feel great that I could serve the community. 

Here are some of the common sense lessons I learned from both sides of the issue –

1. As with each problem, understand the issue; background of politics & people involved and their agendas;
2. Always be fair, remain truthful and act impartial towards all – if you want to be really helpful;
3. Read any relevant document being referred; do not just believe what is being told;
4. Don’t sit on the fence and enjoy conflict, become active if you are passionate about the issue and can contribute;
5. Talk to leaders and offer your help to mediate; negotiate with win-win mental model;
6. Not every effort to resolve issue will be welcomed, negotiations will fail miserably, stay hopeful – any conflict has its own life cycle as well;
7. Expect rumors, allegations and indirect threats – do not waste all of your energy on addressing these;
8. Talk to community members, educate about the issue, tell the truth and share the facts;
9. Keep all doors open for compromise; find out what price are you willing to pay to keep community together;
10. Find influencers in the community, get them on your side and ask for help, validate your interpretation of the issue;
11. Do not quit or bend against pressure if you know you are standing for the truth and justice, you will face lots of pressure and many curve balls;
12. Whatever you negotiate, offer or communicate, make in writing;
13. Do not go negative; don’t get involved with personal attacks on opposite group;
14. Deliver response to any negative propaganda with facts and positive tone – remember truth is like the Sun and false propaganda as clouds, the Sun will eventually shine, the truth will always prevail;
15. Do not get into reactive mode, expect urge to say negative – but control it;
16. Remember truth has to go through tough test before it wins;
17. Keep your head high, keep thinking positive and stay visible in community or group;
18. Always remember that difference of opinion is natural human behavior, other people might be thinking you are wrong;
19. Seek lawyer’s help if needed, you need to get involved in fund-raising, planning course of action is key to success;
20. Do not twist the facts, do not talk out of context, do not exhibit attitude towards people who aren’t agreeing with your opinion;
21. Always seek advice of people who can tell the truth and fact of the matter, not your supporters only who speak your mind and tell you one-sided story;
22. If what you hear is truth and is contrary to your belief, consult and reflect that you are not manipulating the situation;
23. Establish a core group who offers views of issues without any prejudice;
24. Listen to truth and act upon it, keep your mind open to everything but attached to nothing;
25. Do your best in every circumstance even if no one is watching you, do not do things to impress others;
26. Expect victory if you are truthful, impartial, positive, open and just towards all;
27. Do not give advice to score point or take credit, keep it simple and make it team effort;
28. Expect confusion in your group, keep all informed and motivated;
29. Once you get what you want, do not demean other group but let it go;
30. It will take some time to heal the divide, but keep focused on delivering value to community;
31. Do not cling to power but work on empowering others to lead;
32. Power is to serve community not to rule, you may have to make tough decisions;
33. When you are serving as a leader, it’s not walking on red carpet – you are there to take on challenges; and
34. Any choice or decision should be based on good for all not only for you.

When I talked about the issue in my community with friends in other communities, all told me one or other kind of similar story in their community or organization.  I hope my lessons will help or guide someone someday.

Thanks for your visit and comments on the post.

Categories: Change, Community, Issue, leader, Leadership, Life, Management, Problem, Random, Self Help, Thoughts